The Rules Do Not Apply

The Rules Do Not Apply

A Memoir

eBook - 2017
Average Rating:
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-- "I wanted what we all want: everything. We want a mate who feels like family and a lover who is exotic, surprising. We want to be youthful adventurers and middle-aged mothers. We want intimacy and autonomy, safety and stimulation, reassurance and novelty, coziness and thrills. But we can?t have it all." In this profound and beautiful memoir, Levy chronicles the adventure and heartbreak of being "a woman who is free to do whatever she chooses." Her own story of resilience becomes an unforgettable portrait of the shifting forces in our culture, of what has changed?and of what is eternal. -- ?David Sedaris "Ariel Levy is a writer of uncompromising honesty, remarkable clarity, and surprising humor gathered from the wreckage of tragedy. Her account of life doing its darnedest to topple her, and her refusal to be knocked down, will leave you shaken and inspired. I am the better for having read this book." -- ?Amy Bloom "It?s become a truism that feminists are living out our mothers? unlived lives. But Ariel Levy seems to be living out the unlived lives of an entire generation of women, simultaneously. Free to do whatever she chooses, she chooses everything. While reinventing work, marriage, family, pregnancy, sex, and divorce for herself from the ground up, Levy experiences devastating loss. And she recounts it all here with searing intimacy and an unsentimental yet openhearted rigor." -- The Rules Do Not Apply, Steinke.
Publisher: [S.l.] : Random House Publishing Group, 2017
ISBN: 9780812996944
0812996941
0812996933
9780812996937
Characteristics: 1 online resource (224 p.)
1 online resource
Additional Contributors: cloudLibrary
Call Number: eBook

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j
Jennwill80
Oct 26, 2017

I was disappointed in this read. Before I began the book, I assumed _The Rules Do Not Apply_ implied that she, Ariel Levy, had followed the rules all her life and thought that life would be fair and play out accordingly (as long as she did the "right" thing), but she would later learn, as many do, that no amount of following the rules could protect her from the unfairness and cruelty of life. But no, after reading it, I realize that Levy just truly lived her life by her own rules and was met with success after success until, of course, the ultimate devastating loss (which of course she in no way deserved or caused, let me make clear). I consider myself to have a lot of "privilege" in this world (as a white, cis-, educated woman), but Ariel Levy inhabits a whole other level or privilege. A privilege that angered me, maybe because I am jealous of it. And that jealousy made me realize that I assumed the meaning of the title of _The Rules Do Not Apply_, because that is MY story. I have always tried to follow the "rules" and yet suffered tragedy, all the same. Re: it's value on a literary level, I would just read the original essay this was based on (which has some great passages), not this whole book.

r
redtayres
Oct 24, 2017

Judging from comments here and on goodreads.com, writer/author Ariel Levy is somewhat of a hot button for many readers. I wasn't two seconds into the first review of "The Rules Do Not Apply" on goodreads before the term "white-girl privilege" was invoked and being seconded by many commenters. Perhaps because I myself am a white girl I read this book, enjoyed it very much, and never gave a second (or first) thought about such privilege or how it informs this author's story.

Maybe I'm just not very deep or very political.

I am intelligent however, and I enjoyed this slim book. I enjoyed the author's story, her writing, and the fact that she made the book "right in length". That is, the story didn't require more pages than she awarded it.

Did I think there was a purpose to everything she wandered into writing of or even understand why she chose to include it? I didn't but the pages just flowed and her story - her interesting story - seeped out and kept me reading. In simplest form, this is the story of a woman who lived her life never seemingly experiencing loss or even giving it a thought, then lost a lot. It's the details and the humanity that shine through.

I think I'd enjoy this author as a friend, now that she's experienced such.

A good, quick read.

w
wmtlady
Oct 02, 2017

One of my worst reading decisions has been to keep reading-skimming-reading after I found out how poorly this book was laid out. But I kept looking for some redemption in the author's story (it is, after all, a memoir); there was not. For me it only got worse. When a person realizes that they are not and can never be "in control of their life"--that is the best and most logical time to turn to God for true orientation and understanding of them self, their value, their purpose, etc. Not this person. She is worthy of much prayer and compassion, but not the paper and efforts of many people to put her writing into a book.

s
singasong70
Sep 23, 2017

Fascinating to hear how somebody tried to circumvent "the rules" by applying her own - to ill effect I might add, nor sure whose rules she's referring to in the title. Nor surprised about outcome of pregnancy, interesting couple with so many problems considered parenthood a good idea. Doesn't mention divorce though mentions marriage ending and by the way, why did Emma get married in white? (Just asking.)

cmlibrary_lmansfield Jul 22, 2017

A touching memoir about love and loss. Levy's writing is beautiful, compelling, and connecting as she relates her own heartbreaking experiences to universal truths. Warning, this one will definitely make you cry.

s
Sandra_SMB
Jul 09, 2017

Ariel does an amazing job of describing the incredible lonely and severe anguish she felts after loosing her child due to a miscarriage. I have never been pregnant, but I know the feeling of having to move far away from a dear little boy I know in another country.... (the child I never had).

a
aday622
Jun 27, 2017

I am a notoriously slow reader, but read this in 2 days, it was so compelling. Levy's writing is beautifully eloquent and honest. Her story is both happy and tragic, and while she admittedly makes some poor choices in life, her reflection on this is insightful. I wished for a more conclusive ending, but somehow it perfectly completed her story.

l
lilypad_1
Jun 02, 2017

Did not enjoy, only finished it because I like to hear about women's travel adventures but she did not have many of those. It seemed to me like I was reading her unedited journal, some introspection but not anything like Cheryl Strayed.

i
Indoorcamping
May 25, 2017

This woman is the best interviewer I've heard lately which is why I finally took the time to read this book. She is upbeat and positive and so good at getting people to share their experiences, and has such original ways of responding. So reading her I figured she'd be that positive and unique, even though she's known for her tragic stories on podcasts and er completely, awfully sad story, "Thanksgiving in Mongolia."

Somehow the happy and the sad come together perfectly in a beautiful way, sharing in her original voice her original life. I think I read it in a day. I wanted to give her a hug, wanted to bake her cookies, wanted to thank her. I still do.

o
ownedbydoxies
May 01, 2017

Written in an easy, friendly voice, this book chronicles Levy's life with her parents, her move to independence and love, and then the losses she faced. It's interesting and engaging and I'd love to read more from her.

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